Your Title - version 2.0
Some of you may know, some may remember but to those who don't know and freak out I haven't finished things up this month.
Its been pretty tough, money's tight holding off on ALOT of shipping due to it. And importantly I'm leaving tomorrow for the rest of the month. And I never start work before a trip. I will have service and should be active still so don't hesitate to talk comment. If you want an item for sale let me know. I'm,open to reasonable offers! Please do NOT note me. I can't read them. Email me if you must or comment on the picture.
It's rather importent, it's something I have to do or regret it for the rest of my life. I'm not going to lie.....I have a bad feelling and I'm on edge. There's not much that could be done about that.
I will be leaving to pay respects to the dead and have to participate in a healing. Something I'm none too thrilled about. I've also been pulled into this bullshit called counseling. For my bad temper, restlessness, sleep paralysis, paranoia, and most importantly that sums everything up.......their forcing me to go because I am diagnosed with PTSD go figure RIGHT!
The idea pisses me the fuck off. There I go with my bad attitude. And I'm going to be Frank and honest to the deepest core of my bones. The incident didn't turn me into,a heartless cold being. My family did by doing what They did afterwards! Who wouldn't turn cold and emotionless when you learn your place in the family.
But that aside........I'm going over to California tomorrow to pay contribute to the loss. But there's also other things going on that I'm very nervous and paranoid about. I can't publicly talk about it but I got a bad feelling. Thankfully I think the whole Damn police station,will be there knowing them and would be too risky to do anything stupid.
I will be back on the 1st, I'll start shipping on the second and there after so don't panic if you haven't received your items yet everything is moving out when I get home (if I'm,lucky)
The 19th was the warnings
But I figure I share one last tidbit. I never actually told you all since it's been one of my greatest regrets and yet one of my greatest moments. I can't change back time I could only move forward but always look back. Signs are around us!
I was heading to California this same day a year ago and I had actually gotten into my first ever. Car collision! Some old lady side swiped my Damn truck and shoved me into the retaining wall. Thankfully we were both ok. And the only damage to my truck was a bent tyrod. So we agreeded on settling this simply as a hand shake and no reports and we headed on our own paths.
I remember stopping at the rest stop and called my mom to tell her the news. I know I told her that I had a bad feelling that this was a sign If I ever seen one. That maybe I should call this day off and go home call it in that I had gotten,into a accident. But my stubborn ass decides NO I'm going to continue on an show them.
Same Damn day life gives me sign number two. This time I'm abit far to turn around but I hit black ice on the pass and found myself going ass end over the center line in a narrow tunnel. I manage to straighten the truck up and continue on flipping 25 mile and our for the rest of the pass.
When I arrived to our family own gas station whom I always stop at to pick me up a salad. At the cash register I'm talking to my cousin and I tell him "hope I can get out of California alive" in a joking manner considering what I been through to get there.
The very next day I'm laying there on the cold ground bleeding as that same cousin was holding my hand panicking and crying. I tell him in,a joking manner again " remember when I told you last night that I hope I can get out of California alive. ......."
A moment I will never forget.
Can you believe that family members never believed me when I told them how my father died. They told me I was going through shock couldn't get my story straight and he wasn't killed like that. Several family members literally told me I didn't know what I had seen! How the fuck can I ever forget! I have to live with watching him die every day for the rest of my life. I cant erase the image I was forced to witness just a yard away. And yet no one listened no one believed me when I told them. I asked another witness and she said she seen the same thing!
Well over and out. Wish me luck.......if anything happens hopefully I won't have to witness the after math.