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puzzle by AdarkerNEMISIS puzzle by AdarkerNEMISIS
I mustered enough life left in me to get out of bed and try to do something....moreless eat and drink something and letting the dogs out before crawling back up stairs and hope to die.

I was really hit pretty hard just a few days ago and I'm not taking it too well at all. Everything I started has simply been left in place because I can't get any energy to do anything productive......it seems the moment I try to get up my body hurts and I can't control my thoughts. 

This was one of the foxes I was working on before the incident. it was a premade abit ago but I decided to do a remount. I was surprised by the fact I just abandoned it yet seems to set ok. However the way it set mind of made me upset.....just the way he looks at me.  Hopefully if I'm able to pull through he will be finished up and resold since his last buyer couldn't finish payments. 

I wish I had more to show, but I have nothing and I probably won't for abit.
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:iconleotines:
leotines Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2015  Student Digital Artist
I hope you feel better soon, Nemi. We're all here for you. :heart:
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:iconcindarellapop:
CindarellaPop Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
Please don't hurt yourself. You're a strong and remarkable human being. It hurts being stuck close to awful people, whether from birth or other situations, but I implore you not to let them win.
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:iconhumoroustrixx:
HumorousTrixx Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh gosh Nemi... Are you doing alright? :( You know you can text me..
I hope you're doing alright. Please text me if you need someone to talk to. Take your time and please take care of yourself.. :huggle:
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:iconadarkernemisis:
AdarkerNEMISIS Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2015  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
I called out my oldest sister for what she did to me as a kid. My mom stood up and defended her. So I pretty much told her to not talk to me again. So she pretty mad and was screaming at me about how rude and a asshole I've become that I treat her like shit, that I need serious help.

I've been hearing it for awhile now but never from my mother. I don't understand why telling the truth and calling people out for their bullshit makes me a rude person. Yet keeping my mouth shut simply makes me rude as well. I been trying to keep my mouth shut but people push me in a corner. 

It's not the truth that is killing me, it's the fact people think by simply telling me that I'm a rude person is going to make me change. I can't undo what has happen to me in the past I can not unsee what I seen and unhear what I hear. I can't change what life had made me over night. Its hard to change what you become if nothing changes around you. I have nothing to look up to, forward to it down to. What is behind me is the same thing in front of me.  

I know I have problems, but no one seems to know how to handle them. I know I need help but everybody just wants to send me away to someone else which makes me worse. So when I decide it's time they will question why I did it. The funny part is, if they just stopped once and asked I would of told them the truth. 

I hear Washington state has assistant suicide. Though I'm pretty sure that only counts of your sick. Bummer too, since I have plans to move to cali probably before I could get into that kind of program. 
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:iconhumoroustrixx:
HumorousTrixx Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Really? Are you joking..? I don't understand why you are in trouble for calling her out on her bs and telling then how you feel/ how it affected you. Why would she defend her when you're right? You weren't in the wrong for saying what you did. Sometimes we don't want to believe that people do things to us that change is completely, so we hold it in until you just can't anymore...

Nowadays it just seems like we can't win. We talk and tell the truth, and we are rude. Or we don't hardly talk at all and we are rude. It's all so damn confusing and we can't just can't win with certain people.. We can only keep our mouths shut for so long. Once get get you in that corner, you feel like a trapped dog that needs to defend itself. I know I've been that plenty of times..

I can understand why it upsets you so much. Things that happened in the past completely change the person you are in the future. And there's either no changing it, or it takes years to fix it. You can't just say something to someone and expect them to get better in a couple days. That's not how it works, and it doesn't sound like they understand that.

People are scared of the things they don't understand, and thats why they try to send us off to get "help". I know when my family sent me off, it just made me that much worse. Started isolating myself, growling at humans, biting he hands that fed me... It was bad.
They don't start to question things until you end up doing them yourself. They never bother to ask what's going on in your head... It's hard for me to understand why that is.

Just remember that you have a lot of great friends that are going to be here for you 110%. Myself included. If there is ever anything I can help with, please let me know. Please don't consider that... It makes me cry just thinking about it.. You are an amazing person and worth so much more. I am here for you when and if you need me. :huggle:
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:iconornismon:
ornismon Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:hug: !
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:iconwolfforce58:
wolfforce58 Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2015
:hug:
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Details

Submitted on
June 3, 2015
Image Size
1.4 MB
Resolution
4016×2340
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Views
426
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Comments
7

Camera Data

Make
LG Electronics
Model
VS985 4G
Aperture
F/2.4
Focal Length
4 mm
Date Taken
Jun 3, 2015, 11:21:26 PM
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