Dead Men Laugh about Dying

Dead Men Laugh about Dying


Part of me always knew I have a bad sense of humor. I guess I need it for all the terrible things that seem to happen and all I can do is joke about them. Some people assume “Must not be that bad if it’s a joke to you.” I’m one of those people who like to suffer quietly. Those who know me though know that I can make some pretty terrible humor out of my situation.
When people dream of incidents I suddenly feel like I’m the only one not afraid. People tell their dreams and how they are terrified yet my brain can’t comprehend why it would be scary. In my dreams I’m usually at war, people dying around me is simply something I am used to. The same way they were executed next to me. I’m not scared I’m simply there to do my job.
I don’t often dream about my murder or our murder. Usually at the sight of seeing the very person who shot you 4 years go would scare you. (SHOULD) Instead It seemed as though it was a challenge with some humor in it.
In my dream she was trying to lunge at me, attack me with her practical weaponless self. Not only was I just side stepping her movements like I just didn’t have time for her shit, I for one wasn’t scared to face off with my murder again after so long…..Like she is nothing to me. What she had done to me amounts to nothing. Its what she says though should get me.
“When I get out of here, I’m going to find you and make sure I put more holes through you!”
I couldn’t help but laugh when I woke up. My dumb ass in my dream decided to make it so much worse.
“BITCH PLEASE! Ill be dead by the time your bitch ass gets out!” I seriously have to remember to tell her that if I ever see her again. Granted I’m probably not wrong, she will never have the pleasure to kill me………. she had her chance and failed. But I cant help but laugh at that because I’m sure when it boils down to it. I’m one of those regrets she has to live with and she’s not even worth the fear in my mind……just another joke in the long line of others.

She’s Nothing to me and it makes me happy that some how somewhere in my mind….she’s now belittled down to nothing more than a joke in my head.

Joe though, Joe is still out there………..Joe isn’t a joke. No Joe doesn’t know me but I know him and some day he will pay for what he had done. I’ve had blood on my hands since the murders but there is nothing more burning more revengeful then the blood on my hands after what they did to Axel.

Sometimes I wish I had better stories, better movements in my life but I’m still stuck here. This year I hope brings good times………..after all another on the list has taken their last breath but other than that. Same life same story waiting till this chapter ends and the next one begins.
What a Joke!